How many times have you heard how safe it was to approach the males in an establishment before the females? You are warned how Mrs. Y is such a wicked woman whose highest point in a day is snarling and talking down at people. When you think that the people who have issued this warning are just meddling busybodies who hate Ms. Y and then go ahead to try to discover for yourself the angel that these “busybodies” might have missed in their “unfair” assessment, you discover to your shock and horror that the “busybodies” were right and Mrs. Y is the most horrible human walking the side of your planet. You are even more surprised to find out that Mr. Z who is Mrs. Y’s superior is far more approachable and willing to help with your problems. I have been in this situation several times and every time I come out of it, I am plagued by the singular question – why?
After several “whys”, I finally decided that women are like crabs in a bucket. For many people who do not know about the crab-in-the-bucket syndrome, it is one of those syndromes used to refer to situations where people trying to escape an unfavourable situation are kept from doing so by others either out of envy or just maliciousness, so that at the end of the day, neither party gains freedom. This syndrome is the biggest problem facing women today.
It is always rare to see women take a united stand on issues that affect them. From feminists who disagree on the right ideology to pursue to the mother in law who holds down her daughter in law to be beheaded to the vicious and unfriendly female exec who hates you for no apparent reason, women have become their own enemies. Some of us have become short sighted and petty and there is no hope for emancipation where members of our specie lack a constructive unified type of thinking.
While there have been obvious advantages to the women liberation struggle as can be seen in the emergence of powerful female leaders, more needs to be done as women continue to struggle on the lowest rungs of the socio-economic ladder. To enjoy a level playing field in all sphere of human activities, women must learn that only a unity of purpose can help them. As an advocate for gender equality, I have lost count of the number of times I have had to debate with men who quickly point out the fact that women are less sympathetic to themselves than anyone else. This is our greatest problem and we must address it.
In all, one can only hope that true emancipation of women will be realized in my time, if not, the future is indeed very bleak because like crabs in a vicious competition to nowhere, our bucket will always be our prison.
Written on November 12 2012 on www.umariayim.blogspot.com